3/17-19

Got a call from the Dr's office while at work that Evan was in trouble.  Johnny and I were very upset with his immature behavior and we just didn't know how he would never thought of the consequences of his action?   We took away his phone and grounded him from the trip to NC.  I was really excited about this trip and didn't want to cancel it, but in the end I chose to stay behind and helped him live with the consequences.

On the flip side, I felt good that I was able to share my thoughts, worries and concerns with Jeannie besides Johnny and mom. She has grown so much in the past two years and had been able to inspire me with insights on how to deal with Evan at times.  She gave me some suggestion for him -- researching on the consequences that he might be facing while breaking the law for now and in the future.  Needless to say, he would be doing a lot of research this spring break!  Johnny and I also thought of getting him a 1000 puzzle pieces so that he could have some alone time to sit and think things through.  

I was heartbroken by Evan's choices.  The other evening as I was doing the dishes.... I thought of him and why he has to constantly test the limit.  I felt the presence of Grandpa Lai, and this thought came to my mind, "It's okay that he is in trouble now when he is young (with a flashback of my brother) so that he would stay away from it when he is older."  I had no words in describing the feeling - but it's beyond comfortable and reassuring.  

Angels are real!        

3/16

Feeling blessed that I was able to come home last night to get some comfort from hubby.  It's an absolutely stressful night hosting the RS dinner.  If we didn't have to customize 45 orders with 26 random items, it would have been more fun for me or any of us who served both the games and in the kitchen.  I didn't mind the preparation part of it, but I didn't want to get overwhelm on the day of the activity.  There was not much time for the workers to associate with the other sisters let alone the time to sit down and eat.  There were a few things that annoy me other than the crazy, busy process in the kitchen.  I loved my committee and I didn't like how one of the leaders was being treated! It was around 8pm when we finished serving.  The workers had been helping since 6:30pm and we were running late for the games.  I was disgusted when the person who yelled,  "Go get xxx, she needs to get her butt in here to help!"  or "No!  You can't eat, you need to run the game!" I don't see love, and I am disgusted with the thought that the show is more important than an individual.

I was also upset with the fact that some people were very careless or senseless of other's properties.  I made it clear at the beginning that I needed my chopsticks back -- and S who made the announcement did not get the message across.  I did purposely make her feel bad to be quite honest since I need her to know that people actually rely on her.  So, she said she would dig out from the trash.  I walked away from the scene and started doing the dishes in the kitchen.  Then, the mom of (D) came in with a frown and asked me in her strict face (no smile) and in a confrontational voice, "Why do we need to keep the chopsticks?  And why do we need to dig them out from the trash?"  I was at rage with her senseless comment but managed to stay calm.  Thank Lord!  Then, I looked her in the eyes and responded, "Because I bought them and they are for my family!"  She did come back a second time to apologize that whoever made the announcement didn't handle it right.  I said to her, "It's alright!"  Those chopsticks are cheap and didn't worth much.  I was more upset of people being irresponsible, and not being able to put themselves in someone else's shoe.  I am sure they would be mad too if I borrowed the utensils or anything from them and "accidentally" throw them away.

Anyway, I learned my lesson last night!  Keep things simple, stay focus on what matter the most, be careful, sensible and be nice and kind to others.

3/1-3/9

3/1 (Tue)

The weather was nice so the driving to NJ for pick up was a breeze.  It's so nice to have Johnny back and have someone to talk to.  Jady of course mourned over not being able to sleep with me and I missed that part of it too.  :)  I am so happy that Johnny had a wonderful time visiting friends and family and having a celebration of his grandpa's life.  I don't like to call it a funeral - it's a celebration of life especially he is 97.  Being home by myself with the kids is not a easy job, and I am grateful for the experience - think I am more sympathetic towards single parent now.   

3/2 - 3/5 (Wed thru Sat) 

Spending quite a bit of time preparing my Sunday lesson on "Thriving to live in the gospel, keeping a balance while we struggle to jugxxxx."  I have a lot of thoughts on the issue since it hit hard on my own personal life.  As I was doing the research on the topics, I came across a few article that I really enjoy reading from the church website.  What a blessing it is to be a member of the church and be lead by inspired leaders - I can basically find answer to anything about life from the articles written by them. 

Evan took his first SAT on Sat (3/5).  He was pretty confident about the test and felt strong of getting similar score as the practice test.  We shall see. 

3/6 - 3/9 (Sun - Wed)

Somehow, I wasn't as worry about the lesson as I did in the past.  I can feel that someone (an angel/spirit) would help me with the work, and it's probably the Lord's way to calm me down from being nervous.  <3 div="">

3/7 (Mon)

The filling at the back of my molar came off and I called the dentist for help.  Fortunately, she was able to fit me in at 11:00 while I called as I was running my errands that morning in Phoenixville.  I was decided to get some groceries and flowers for a few sisters at the store there and was blown by the how the schedule works perfectly between my errands and the appointment.  Not only that -- I was able to deliver a plant to Gladys unknowingly that she was admitted to the hospital the Sat before.  I then made my run in Chesterbrook and Devon.  I saw Mary's car outside and the old in the house but she wouldn't come down.  I waited for a bit and later found out that she was actually in the shower.  She was still kind of wiped out by the family issues (custody battle with her ex, parents separation, mom's Dr. appointment and surgery, and the potential loss of her job while dealing with a difficult brother).  Things were so bad for her and how I wish and pray that she has a break in between.  Yet, she is a strong woman and she knows where she should be and I truly think Heidi, her best friend has been a great blessing to her!  I love these two women! 

The time was so precise and perfectly scheduled for the following visit with Kim Birxxx.  No one has success in getting into her door according to many sisters... but the Lord works in miracle!  I parked my car at the entrance of her driveway and walked out with the plant and behold, she was driving back to the house from a work out.  Our exchange was short since she would have to leave the house and dropped off something to her son right away.  All I want from the visit was to pass the message to her that someone miss her and that she wasn't forgotten.  That's all I was instructed by Heavenly Father. 

I felt terrific about the adventurous day and I am at awe of how intricate and precise the Lord has everything planned and scheduled.  My heart was not there at the beginning of the day because I am a workaholic!  I love my job and I just wanted to stay home and work when they sent me the email of urgent needs for interpreter.  I told myself that I would just leave the plant outside at the sister's house... but then a thought came to my mind - what's the point of my visit if I don't get to talk to the sisters?  I was certain that I had no clue what to say but I was going to try and be done as soon as I could so that I can get back to work.  My attitude was pretty bad.. see how I am laughing at myself... :) 

Thinking back now, I am further convinced that worrying about the unexpected would do us no good.

1) They limit our faith -- especially as we try to gain control of the situation on our own, we fail to exercise our faith to ask the Lord for guidance. 

2)  Make us more anxious, worrisome and less productive - I have seen the added stress on myself and others when going through crisis.  We can be nuts going in all directions.   

3)  We can be blinded to recognize the real purpose or learning lesson behind the scene. 

I probably need to revisit this journal entry in the future since my faith is still work in progress!  :D

2/23-2/28

2/23 (Tue)
Grateful for Mike Reyx and Amanda who stopped by to check on us.  They were so sweet to show up at our door and ask if we need anything!  We are so blessed to have such great home teacher -- and did I mention that they are inactive?  Love this family!
Super nervous and worried about Jeannie who has been sick for over a week now!  Thank goodness for a great insurance company and plan, so we be able to get her to see the Dr. right away in Utah.

2/24 (Wed)
That kid knows how to put a smile on your face when she got us a matching shirt for the summer so that we can take family picture with it - and when she was still sick!
Jady had half day of school today.  I took her to Walmarx and CVx to check on the braces for my neck, elbow and lower back.  As I sat there in my office this morning, I felt really bad about my pain coz I could not imagine myself in this condition for the rest of my life.  I need something quick to fix my problem.  I have a habit of praying everyday before I start working - and that I'd be able to use my skills to make someone's life easier.  As I was sitting at the table,  I came across the human anatomy visual dictionary and saw where the nerve goes in our body.  My first thought was, "Wow, those Chinese Dr. are so smart!  How could they (5000 years ago) know all the pressure points and nerves located in our body?"  Then, somehow I was reminded of the QiKunx class I took a few years back.

My thinking was - my position at work made my muscle stiff because most of the time I had my head down writing notes with the shoulder and back slouched forward.  When I was taking the QiKunx class, we would start our session with a 15 mins. warm up.  That warm up involved patting the whole body from head to toe or in another word, shaking out the bad "chi".   "Waking up" the organs and nervous system allowed the good "chi" flowing in and to eventually heal our body.  I remember mom did that warm up exercise when she was here and Dad also told me where to pat for optimal result to increase the energy/blood flow in the body.  Everything started to make sense all of a sudden!  I tried that today in between work and it helps relax my muscle.  Not only that, I found myself in a much better spirit as well when I talked to the client.      

Took the kids to mutual and met with the Enrichment Committex.... Get a lot more done and plan, so it was good.  

2/25 (Thur)
Work for an hour or so and then off to pick up Jady (another half day).  We drove to the hospital on time to get an EMG done and I told myself that I would never repeat that test again.  They basically shocked me with electric current and I got bruises from the needles - not just poking at one spot but the peripheral.  I am pretty determined that I would take control of my health from now on!  Had a fight with Evan... I was mad and disappointed because he made no time and effort to listen to my problems.  I went to bad pretty upset.

2/27 (Fri)
I expressed my feeling to Evan in the morning and he came home and apologized for him not being there for me when I needed him.  I pray that he would remember this lesson and never repeat the same mistake again whether it's to his wife or his children -- never send your loved ones away when they came to you with their problems.  That's the biggest mistake one would ever made!
      
Busy revising the retreat flyer.  I am so glad that all is done!  ;)  Mom kind of worries me - she has been having a couple of nose bleeding episodes.  I hope and pray that her nose was dry and the membrane was thin, and at worst having the disorder as Jady and nothing else.  Thank goodness to the wonderful orthopedics she has who referred her to see a ENT Dr. in 10 days.  We were amazed at how quickly they have the appointment set up.  

2/28(Sat)
Super busy and tiring... Woke up at 7, shower and then drove to downtown philly.  It was about 9:15 when I got there, so I tried to look for a 3 hour parking spot because my appointment was from 10-noon.  Being early doesn't help since most of these parking spots has a time limit of 2 hours if not 1 hour.  I was pretty frustrated going in circles (with the one way) traffic rules and became desperate when it's getting close to my appointment time.  So I drove to two garage places within a mile and they both asked me for $24 flat!  What?  I was only parking for a little over 2 hours so I just didn't feel like paying them that much.  This is wrong!  I continued my drive and it was closed to 10:02. The car to my left pulled out from the parking lot and there's my 2 hour spot.  It wasn't only a 2 hour spot, it was actually a pretty big spot for me who don't know how to parallel park.  What's more? It was situated diagonally to my destination acrossed the park.  I ran as fast as I could and was almost 15 mins. late to my appointment.  Thank goodness that the directors were super understanding.  They even allowed me to leave as soon as we were done.  That morning prayer was definitely working!

Came home tired and waited for the ladies to come help made the RS invites.  We finished around 4:45 and then gave Evan a ride to the store.  Think I might have passed out after I came home.  He left to a party with his friends and I woke up and took Jady to Wendys and hang out at Barns N noblx for a mother daughter date before picking up Evan at 9:30pm.  It was almost 10:40 by the time we came home.  The day was long and I couldn't wait to have Johnny home.

2/29 (Sun)
It was a great sacrament meeting as I looked around and spot a few act of kindness from the members.
1) Chip noticed the decons didn't pass the trays in order, so he asked the lady in front to pass it onto him and fixed the problem.
2) Wendy went to ask a semi active member to sit by her family.
3) Heidi's youngest son stroked her hair back in position after seeing the mess.
4) Sister Greenwax wrote me a note and thank me for giving her hug when she cried last week.
No wonder people said, "There is always someone watching, so be good!"
Had a wonderful time visiting Gloria.  She is absolutely a great lady.  I love chatting with older women.  They are so fun to be with. Two more days and Johnny will be home...

Time to prepare the lesson for next week!    


 

2/22 Be the kind, random stranger!

2/22

Work is super busy today and I am so glad to have a variety of calls now that I am more familiar with the system and protocol.  Love every single minute of my job!  Got an email today about two positions: working as an insurance underwriter or a medical record translator.  I did express my interest in both jobs, so we shall see! 

Johnny got a bunch of stuff for us in HK, so glad that he is still having fun visiting friends and family.  Evan is anxiously waiting to get over with his debate - poor kid!  Jady is working hard on not picking her scab so that she can paint her nails.  Haha... My sweetheart is sick with a running nose and cough.  Now that I get to hear so many calls from the Dr., I felt like I sounded one too when I asked her all those questions related to her symptoms.  :D  Pray that she will feel better tomorrow!  

It was fun talking to a grandpa at the dental office today.  We started chatting while watching the news and we exchanged thoughts and opinions on gun control.  Then we talked about the different Drs in the office and what kind of procedures and bad experiences we had with our appointments.  As he, his wife and grand daughter were about to leave, the nurse called on my name, and that grandpa at check out waved bye and said, "Good luck with your visit, Pauline!"  That statement just made my day.  

Be kind -- anyway, any time, any day!  

2/21

2/22 (Sun)

Church was great!  I love President Dutchworxx's talk as always!  He is such an honest, down to earth leader that everyone loves.  Definitely need to spend some alone time on Sunday contemplating, nourishing the soul.  My goal is to move the visiting teachings appointment to the weekdays so that I can get some spiritual cleaning done.  Now that I start working, I see how much rest and peace I yearn for on my Sabbath.

Our presidency met with the stake YW, Primary and RS presidents after the sacrament meeting.  My mind was wondering around somewhere else at the beginning of the meeting.  I remember thinking to myself - "I seriously don't have much to offer... I don't want to be in charge of people...  I am pretty boring... so not creative, and not fun at all... why put me in that position?"  As I was talking to myself, somehow I picked up on the note from the stake for a suggestion to meet with the other auxiliary leaders together for insight and inspiration for the ward members. I can feel her love, concern and desire as Amanda Haxx bear her testimony on the subject.

I am sure the stake is aware of the division... and it's been a concern to me as well that the sisters, youth and members of our ward are struggling with unity.  Life outside the church is already so challenging, we as sisters need to stick together to stand firm in the gospel and help our kids to stay in the church.  When Amanda closed with the remark, "Live up to your covenant!" That specific moment, I received a confirmation and a change of heart - This is exactly why I need to stay.  I am needed to be here for the sisters in the ward.  My struggle were kept in minimal as soon as I had that experience.  I see myself murmur less!

After church, I came home fix lunch for the kids and then rushed out to visiting teaching. So grateful to have an awesome, spiritual companion, Gina!  She has only been in the state for three years but her English has improved so much!  She was an accountant and her husband has his own business before they moved to the state.  Life has changed a lot for the family -- less desirable for the parents (working two, three jobs to meet ends need) and yet probably the best living for the children.  I don't know if I have the courage to do what they do.  Bless the hearts to those who struggle.

Visiting Michelle (Met Jacob, the kid who struggled with drugs, has the sweetest temperament.  I hope he will seek help and turnaround.) and Raquel was a delight... came home around 4:45... asked Evan to catch a ride to get to the Bishop's house for BYCBYxx.  I did the dishes in between and no soon after I left to the presidency meeting.

2/16-20

2/16 (Tue)
Grateful to realize how my life was protected by a loving Father!   I was really upset with the job was assigned to a different interpreter because I didn't response on time.   But then on Tue after dropping off Jady at 10:20 (two hour delay) and walking home on the slushy road, I suddenly realized how blessed I was to not being able to get the assignment.  There is no way that I would be able to drive there with the icy condition or found someone to take Jady to school.  No one except the Father knew what is the best for His children.  I hope I will always remember this lesson... Delay my complaint, learn to be patient and have faith that the Lord will give us the Best!!!  I mean the BEST!!!!
Went to visit and delivered the blankets to Lila and Gladys.  These two ladies has gone through a lot of hardship in their lives (one got married 4 times and constantly in and out of the hospital, and the other became a widow when she was young and had children and grand children in drugs and all sorts of trouble.)   I admired how they were able to deal with their circumstances with humor.   They always managed to make me laugh! We need a little humor when life gives us a lemon!

2/17 (Wed)
I have the best job in the world!  I love every single minute of it -- some clients are very sweet and appreciate my help.   I got a sense of how to deal with them and hopefully be able to continue to improve my skills and help as long as I live.   Kids went to wed activity and I was able to get some fruits while they were at the church.   We read our scripture and said a prayer before we left.   We also FaceTime dad after we came home from mutual.  Life is terrific!

2/18 (Thur)
Work was a little slow but hey I was in my robe all day!  Can't complaint!  I had a great chatting session with my oldest as well since we were trying to figure out a design to improve the food warming process for the microwave.  It was fun!  I stopped working at 3 and went to pick up Jady since she has violin lesson.  Came home and worked for another hour while Jady was having snack and enjoying her TV time.  That's how flexible my job is and I love it!  Evan has been diligent working on a debate for his Govt. class.  I am so proud to see how much work he has put into this project!  Grateful for the heavy rain that melted a bit of the snow off our lawn.

2/19  (Fri)
Parkinson disease - The disease has kept an old man (LEP) from standing, walking, bathing, going to the bathroom  -- and probably, eventually swallowing.   This poor gentleman went to the emergency room by himself because he was chocking and he is now confined to a wheelchair and is not able to get to places because his legs are giving up on him. When the nurse asked if he is depressed, his response was, "Some days I just wanted to end my own life."  I so wanted to tell him that I love him, please don't give up, but I can't with my job.  My heart sank when I interpret these kind of calls.  Pray that he will get the home care service soon, and to have someone to help relive his struggle.  Hope the medication will keep his disease at bay. I am so thankful for a healthy body!

2/20 (Sat)
Long day -- woke up and made lunch for the kids.  Went to pick up Joan and attended Brandi's baby shower.  Came home and eat a little bit with the kids and headed to the library with Jady before cutting the Urbinx girls' hair.  They love their new look.  :D  Took an hour nap and dropped off Jady at Crystal's birthday.  Evan and I went to dinner at Popeyx and picked up two pair of jeans from Primmarx.  The party was still on when we got there and so we stayed until the end of it.  It was a great party and I love seeing the people in the house!  I felt like some neighbors that Maria invited doesn't have family.  Bless this friend who has a heart of gold!