1/22 (Fri) Grateful for Good Dr and a good friend
Went to see Dr. Melli for the tingling/numbness sensation on my fingertips and arm, and eye twitching for the past two weeks. She suggested that I might have a pinched nerve. Quickly she ordered me a EMG testing scheduled the end of Feb. Hope it shed some lights to my problem. Just love how efficient she is!
And if the whole world doesn't care, I know someone do! Rushing through lunch with Michelle because of the Dr appointment. She called me the day after and told me that she was mad at me when I didn't call her back to tell her my result. That's what a true friend is like -- we don't always see each other, but I know she would be there for me if I need. Love her to pieces!!
1/23 (Sat) Grateful for a Husband who has so much Faith
I was really upset with Genexx for passing the next two month's job to someone else. Before I signed up with LLS, I've made up my mind that I will stay with Genexx and travel to meet with the client -- a good two hours of driving with minimum paid. I would have do so much better staying at home working for LLS. I still remember vividly the morning when the company called me so desperately for help and despite of the long commute and lack of notice, I went to see their client. What a disappointment and a bad day I had. Thank goodness for Johnny's remarks at lunch, "Do you have FAITH that better things are coming?... You need to truly BELIEVE that!" I have been really good at reminding me this "The BEST is yet to come!" but I totally forgot about it that day -- Think I need to make a plague for my new favorite quote.
1/24 (Sun) Snow in/No Church Service
We got almost three ft of snow in one day. It was crazy, but we stayed home, chilled and hang out since Johnny's flight got cancelled. It was a good day with rest... but then all the LLS training started in the evening.
1/25 (Mon) -- No School!
We took the kids to Amanx before Johnny left to the airport. We were all stuffed when we came home. It was a relaxing day and I spent most of my time doing web base training. How could anyone possibly remembered or recalled the material and information from four different modules and twenty-four sessions (20-30 mins each) in two and a half day. Not only that... we are required to have 80% or higher in all four assessments in order to enrolled to the 6 hour led base training! If I don't pass, then I will have to wait until the end of next month. Thank goodness again for the snow -- so that I don't need to rush, wake up early and drive to seminary!
1/26 (Tue) -- No School again, being Safe or Saved!!!
SAT registration with Evan... The FDA guy had a last minute schedule for a survey with Evan... Dinner... Then trying to get Jady to violin lesson while the roads are still icy. The driver behind long hoked me for a good few seconds as I was trying to switch over to his lane not noticing his car. I swerved -- I mean BIG swerved a few times uncontrollably, and probably over corrected myself due to the slippery ground. The driver drove past me impatiently! Thank God preserving the lives of Jady and I. There was yet another car right behind us as I looked into the mirror. We could had been on the news on that busy 202 highway. Think that driver must had slowed down as he/she saw me panic.
1/27 (Wed) -- Thank You for mom and the Garcia Family!
Talked to mom this morning since I haven't figured out a way to sort out the issue with the phone features. Work required to have a plain service line without any call features but Johnny doesn't want to let go of the service. I was frustrated to not having a solution ready but my mom just laughed at my frustration -- and that's when I started to relax! The problems won't disappeared just because I get frustrated. Anyway, it all worked out the last minute as I sent Johnny an email that I had ordered a new service line. We know what we want or don't want as we are forced to make a decision. It's especially true when under time constraint. HAHA :D
Passed and submitted all the necessary assessments before the deadline. The kids had a two hour delay and it is such a big help at least in my situation. I didn't even want to make food to be really honest but I did anyway. Surprisingly the fish, tomato/basil artichoke dish turned out extremely well! I would definitely do it again in the future! Then Anna came to pick up Evan to church and she even offered to take him home so that I didn't need to drive. Love my sweet friend!
1/28 (Thur) -- Last Day of Training, Yeah!
Kids were back to school in full force and I started out early with the 6 hours of led base training. The final day has came and I am so looking forward to work from home. Just ordered my headset and stuff today so I can start working next week.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Grateful for a place called HOME!
1/20
Johnny and I had followed a family on and off since the kids were young but we lost in touch with them when the family stopped coming to church. The mom was in her 30s and she has 4 children from different men. One of the sons just got out from the detention center -- a kid we used to fellowship. We don't know for what reason he was charged but from him we knew that wasn't a pleasant place to be. I pray that he will turn around and never go back there. We also saw his sister there at the house. She was under my wing for a little bit when she was younger and now is all grown into adulthood - working hard, getting ready to graduate from college and helping out with the family! I am so very proud of her for staying on track. Her younger sister, however, had a baby as a teenager and that makes her mom a grandmother at age 30 something.
Refresh back years ago, there were many times I stopped by and drove by their home and thought of the challenge of raising the children in the ghetto and in their circumstances. I wondered how their lives would be like as a grown up... and this is the kind of reality brought about, which sometimes can be sad. The outside circumstances can lead us to somewhere we don't belong; however, the teachings inside a home can be key factor in making up all the differences.
I am grateful for the teachings of the church that helps Johnny and I raise our children - to be responsible, honest, helpful, happy citizens. I am grateful to be able to stay at home to be there for my children and to provide a place for refugee and peace -- a place for our children to come home and decompress, a place for them to express their thoughts and challenges in lives, and a place they can share laughter, joy and sadness.
Johnny and I had followed a family on and off since the kids were young but we lost in touch with them when the family stopped coming to church. The mom was in her 30s and she has 4 children from different men. One of the sons just got out from the detention center -- a kid we used to fellowship. We don't know for what reason he was charged but from him we knew that wasn't a pleasant place to be. I pray that he will turn around and never go back there. We also saw his sister there at the house. She was under my wing for a little bit when she was younger and now is all grown into adulthood - working hard, getting ready to graduate from college and helping out with the family! I am so very proud of her for staying on track. Her younger sister, however, had a baby as a teenager and that makes her mom a grandmother at age 30 something.
Refresh back years ago, there were many times I stopped by and drove by their home and thought of the challenge of raising the children in the ghetto and in their circumstances. I wondered how their lives would be like as a grown up... and this is the kind of reality brought about, which sometimes can be sad. The outside circumstances can lead us to somewhere we don't belong; however, the teachings inside a home can be key factor in making up all the differences.
I am grateful for the teachings of the church that helps Johnny and I raise our children - to be responsible, honest, helpful, happy citizens. I am grateful to be able to stay at home to be there for my children and to provide a place for refugee and peace -- a place for our children to come home and decompress, a place for them to express their thoughts and challenges in lives, and a place they can share laughter, joy and sadness.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
1/16-1/19
1/16 (Sat)
There is no hope of retrieving his phone. As I sat down with Evan and talked about forgiveness -- my son surprised me with a great attitude. He acknowledged his feeling of sadness over the lost phone and all his contacts, but he also reassured me that he's not upset with the kid anymore for he said, "Well, I thought the kid probably is not coming from the best circumstances!" He is definitely a much larger person in spirit than I thought. I love my son!
1/17 (Sun)
Grateful for my companion who sacrifice her time to visit Michelle and Gloria with me. I thought her family gathering was cancelled when Gina told me that she could go to visit teach. I didn't find out until later that her husband and kids had already left to the sister-in-law's house after our appointments. I was so thankful for her example to me -- for sacrificing her time to visit the sisters she loves. I offered to take her to Exton so that she could catch up with her family and sister-in-law. Love my day!
1/18 (Mon)
MLK - went out to dim sum with some Asian friends. I love how honest and funny they are even though we haven't only known each other for a short period of time. I especially love to see how the kids played card games and jingles without holding their ipads and phones!
1/19 (Tue)
Grateful for the one hour drive to and from work that gave me time to think about life and listened to my favorite music.
As I left the state hospital, I had a glimpse of what it is like to live with someone who has mental illnesses. The LEP was upset and got up to leave without a word when the medical panel refuse to grant her wish to go home. In her mind, switching to another facility would cause money and that thought has been implanted for years according to the psychologist. The patient did not believe in the advice that all the services she rendered is being paid for. Going home would not be an option either since she refused to make a transit to a group facility. This is my first experience ever in dealing with people with mental disorder, and it truly saddens me to see how lock up a mind can be. She reminded me of Chris who committed suicide last summer. It did had a moment to admire the patience our friends had for their son.
The state people (medical panel) was trying to keep her protected at the hospital because past history had shown that the patient was not able to perform the basic skills such as cooking, showering and eating while living by herself. Moving onto a group facility will provide her with the needed training for this purpose. The biggest hurdle is that she thinks she is 25 (her mental stage) when in reality she is 57. She also thought that she pays me to be her attorney to get her out of the hospital.
My heart ache as I saw her in such an illusionary, painful state. I bet thoughts and issues that she can't rectify will torn her into pieces. Then I thought of Chris. I couldn't help but ask myself, if I were in their situation, would I rather be free and die or would I rather be lock up unwillingly and be miserable for the rest of my life? There is no good answer to this but at least in Chris -- I hope and wish that he is problem free now!
There is no hope of retrieving his phone. As I sat down with Evan and talked about forgiveness -- my son surprised me with a great attitude. He acknowledged his feeling of sadness over the lost phone and all his contacts, but he also reassured me that he's not upset with the kid anymore for he said, "Well, I thought the kid probably is not coming from the best circumstances!" He is definitely a much larger person in spirit than I thought. I love my son!
1/17 (Sun)
Grateful for my companion who sacrifice her time to visit Michelle and Gloria with me. I thought her family gathering was cancelled when Gina told me that she could go to visit teach. I didn't find out until later that her husband and kids had already left to the sister-in-law's house after our appointments. I was so thankful for her example to me -- for sacrificing her time to visit the sisters she loves. I offered to take her to Exton so that she could catch up with her family and sister-in-law. Love my day!
1/18 (Mon)
MLK - went out to dim sum with some Asian friends. I love how honest and funny they are even though we haven't only known each other for a short period of time. I especially love to see how the kids played card games and jingles without holding their ipads and phones!
1/19 (Tue)
Grateful for the one hour drive to and from work that gave me time to think about life and listened to my favorite music.
As I left the state hospital, I had a glimpse of what it is like to live with someone who has mental illnesses. The LEP was upset and got up to leave without a word when the medical panel refuse to grant her wish to go home. In her mind, switching to another facility would cause money and that thought has been implanted for years according to the psychologist. The patient did not believe in the advice that all the services she rendered is being paid for. Going home would not be an option either since she refused to make a transit to a group facility. This is my first experience ever in dealing with people with mental disorder, and it truly saddens me to see how lock up a mind can be. She reminded me of Chris who committed suicide last summer. It did had a moment to admire the patience our friends had for their son.
The state people (medical panel) was trying to keep her protected at the hospital because past history had shown that the patient was not able to perform the basic skills such as cooking, showering and eating while living by herself. Moving onto a group facility will provide her with the needed training for this purpose. The biggest hurdle is that she thinks she is 25 (her mental stage) when in reality she is 57. She also thought that she pays me to be her attorney to get her out of the hospital.
My heart ache as I saw her in such an illusionary, painful state. I bet thoughts and issues that she can't rectify will torn her into pieces. Then I thought of Chris. I couldn't help but ask myself, if I were in their situation, would I rather be free and die or would I rather be lock up unwillingly and be miserable for the rest of my life? There is no good answer to this but at least in Chris -- I hope and wish that he is problem free now!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Phone Recovery Maybe?
Thankful for the help with a few church leaders who were able to locate Evan's phone. After the leaders got a hold of the phone log, they talked to kid retrieved part of Evan's phone with the help of the police. Someone admitted of taking Evan's phone apart and use them in two separate phones. We are still waiting for the answer on where the other part of the phone is.
Somehow my heart ache as I heard from Johnny that the police was involved for the investigation.
1) I couldn't help imagine the life of these kids who live in the city. How much temptation they have and how much struggle they've gone through -- but still can't justify of him stealing.
2) It must be heartbreaking and devastating when the parents find out that their kids are in trouble.
I am totally grateful for the power of prayer, repentance and the atonement. I pray that the kid will learn a lesson this time and never get into more serious trouble in the future.
Our soul worth so much more than any temporal material/substance on earth.
Grateful for Michelle G. and Music Teacher
1/13
We got our first snow of the season today!!! The weather is a bit cold and there is no seminary! Awesome!
Had a funny conversation with Michelle and updated my work details, forms and tests with her. How I love this friend of mine. She always make my day whenever we chat. Pray that she will quit smoking, regain her strength, and start coming to church soon.
So thankful that Jady has signed up with a good violin teacher, Allison who is able to motivate her to practice. A great teacher make such a big difference. Jady had so much fun at the store playing with the different instrument that she didn't want to leave.
We got our first snow of the season today!!! The weather is a bit cold and there is no seminary! Awesome!
Had a funny conversation with Michelle and updated my work details, forms and tests with her. How I love this friend of mine. She always make my day whenever we chat. Pray that she will quit smoking, regain her strength, and start coming to church soon.
So thankful that Jady has signed up with a good violin teacher, Allison who is able to motivate her to practice. A great teacher make such a big difference. Jady had so much fun at the store playing with the different instrument that she didn't want to leave.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Struggle is Real!
1/12
I struggle whether I should write this down but it would be unreal if I only record the good but not the bad coz life is not rosy all the time.
I am always cautious with friends, so when I felt that they are mine, I extended my love whole heartedly. But often times in reality, this is just my thinking -- and it broke my heart not once but many, many times. I hid my emotions pretty well and pretended that I don't care, but deep down inside, I do!! MG is one the few that I am struggling with right now. We used to hang out when she is in town, but her door is closed since last May when she was upset with my "unwelcomed" advice -- the time she found out her son wanted to move in with his dad. I thought she needs time for herself and didn't want to open up so I gave her space and left her alone. It used to be that she would tell me that she wouldn't trust the sisters in the ward, but now I found out that she would go and talk to others but me. I am glad that she found people to talk to, but the ones who she talked would feed on her story. I texted her on and off since she came back and tried to arrange for a get together and she would decline my offer. She didn't mention a word about her mom and son but I knew what's going on with her life as a presidency. She looked uncomfortable and made a comment that news spread out so quickly when we visited her mom at the hospital.
My heart ached to see our friendship fell apart, and for what she is going through. I am tired to be a strong person. I am tired of giving and asking for a relationship that is not base on mutual acceptance. I fail badly this time!
Grateful for the power of prayer -- for all that I could think of is to pray for her and her family.
I struggle whether I should write this down but it would be unreal if I only record the good but not the bad coz life is not rosy all the time.
I am always cautious with friends, so when I felt that they are mine, I extended my love whole heartedly. But often times in reality, this is just my thinking -- and it broke my heart not once but many, many times. I hid my emotions pretty well and pretended that I don't care, but deep down inside, I do!! MG is one the few that I am struggling with right now. We used to hang out when she is in town, but her door is closed since last May when she was upset with my "unwelcomed" advice -- the time she found out her son wanted to move in with his dad. I thought she needs time for herself and didn't want to open up so I gave her space and left her alone. It used to be that she would tell me that she wouldn't trust the sisters in the ward, but now I found out that she would go and talk to others but me. I am glad that she found people to talk to, but the ones who she talked would feed on her story. I texted her on and off since she came back and tried to arrange for a get together and she would decline my offer. She didn't mention a word about her mom and son but I knew what's going on with her life as a presidency. She looked uncomfortable and made a comment that news spread out so quickly when we visited her mom at the hospital.
My heart ached to see our friendship fell apart, and for what she is going through. I am tired to be a strong person. I am tired of giving and asking for a relationship that is not base on mutual acceptance. I fail badly this time!
Grateful for the power of prayer -- for all that I could think of is to pray for her and her family.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Grateful for this friend called Judy
Oh Judy! She is absolutely my favorite person in this ward. Her gentle gesture made up all the difference for the rest of my time at church today. When she found out that I was in a foul mood, she gave me a hug, kissed me on my cheek, told me that she loves me and felt sorry that I had a bad experience at church today. The power of compassionate service was examplifier in her. She words had soften my heart!!!!
What happened was.... I was totally irritated by some members being so irreverent and inconsiderate of others when they chatted and laughed so loud behind the overflow ignoring the fact that there were members having Sunday school in the chapel. With my poor hearing, I jumped up to the other side to make a complaint. It was quiet for a little bit, but then the noise went back up again. In my opinion, for those who choose not to go to the class and would like to chat, they could go to a different location to meet with people. My spirit was highly distributed, and my thought was like why do these people come when they don't want to be in class to learn? I am imperfect and that's why I want to come to get help -- to gain a testimony and some spiritual experience.
How are we going to teach our kids to enjoy church, to be reverent, respectful ,and most importantly love the gospel/doctrine if we don't hold true with our own behavior?
Thank goodness for the Lord who granted me Judy! I love her so, so much!
What happened was.... I was totally irritated by some members being so irreverent and inconsiderate of others when they chatted and laughed so loud behind the overflow ignoring the fact that there were members having Sunday school in the chapel. With my poor hearing, I jumped up to the other side to make a complaint. It was quiet for a little bit, but then the noise went back up again. In my opinion, for those who choose not to go to the class and would like to chat, they could go to a different location to meet with people. My spirit was highly distributed, and my thought was like why do these people come when they don't want to be in class to learn? I am imperfect and that's why I want to come to get help -- to gain a testimony and some spiritual experience.
How are we going to teach our kids to enjoy church, to be reverent, respectful ,and most importantly love the gospel/doctrine if we don't hold true with our own behavior?
Thank goodness for the Lord who granted me Judy! I love her so, so much!
Happiness is...
Happiness is when Evan felt comfortable to share with me his thoughts and struggles. It's tough to go through rough times, and I was totally surprised, and shouted with joy from the bottom of my heart to know that he trusted me and wanted to talk to me about what is going with his life. I put down all my electronic device, and just focus on him even though his eyes were fixed on the TV. I don't think he was paying much attention to the program at all as we talk. Praying for an invitation of the spirit to fill my mind so that I will be able to say the right thing, teach him the correct principal, and gave him the needed advice next time we had this type of conversation.
Friday, January 8, 2016
The Power of Letting Go...
It's been a full year since the last time I talked to my neighbor, Jan. The issue with the school bus stop and bus driver has left a wedge to both of our families. When Ms. Helen didn't show up yesterday, I asked Jan if she knew what happened to Ms. Helen. She responded calmly (this time) and we chatted a little later on. Then, I apologized for the things that happened last year without much details and gave her a hug. She tried to explain her points on the issue again but I was more interested in mending the relationship and move on. Life has been a little difficult for me in the past few months because Jan was reluctant to talk to me. But today, we were both set free!!! I am grateful for the gospel that teaches me to have self discipline, to forgive, and let go. There is a time and season for things to happen... if it hasn't happened, just wait and be patient because the Lord will never fail at his promise!
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Grateful Project 365
I sucked at keeping a journal, but with this brand new year, I am determined to start a happy/grateful project to record the simple things that makes me happy, or the kind gesture I received or provided to the people I interacted with. Seven days has gone by, so tracing back to Jan 1 could be a little tricky. Here we go:
1/1 (Fri)
Grateful for the opportunity to play for Bro. McCuxx's funeral yesterday. He was a quiet man with lots of integrity. Many good memories were shared, and I guess this is what we all strive for in the end of life. Not how successful we are with our career, but what good we left behind. We sure will miss him.
Happiness is when I got the text that Jeannie is back to Provo safe and sound. I was really worried about the snow and ice on the ground, but the roads were clear when as Arayxx drove her home.
Grateful for the friends who thought of us and invited us to a dinner/karoke gathering for the New Year.
1/2 (Sat)
Grateful for the missionaries who came to our house for dinner and uplift us with their message. I could feel how happy they are while serving a mission.
Thankful that we were able to provide a place for Evan and his friends to party.. though I disapproved and rolled my eyes when I saw them throwing ping pong balls into the plastic cups filled with soda.
1/3 (Sun)
Grateful for Sarah's effort in preparing and presenting the 2015 RS end of year video. The pictures of the individual sisters and group made me realize how unique we are and how much we needed each other -- to lean on and thrive in the gospel.
1/4 (Mon)
So happy that I got some cool stuff, made it to the post office, and mailed out the birthday package to Jeannie before 4pm (the mail lady said the package should be there by Thursday. And I finally nailed at a post from pinterest... the melting snowman is not that difficult to reproduce.
Grateful that I passed the ISA test from LLS! Waiting for the next big step!
1/5 (Tue)
Glad that Jady and I got to spent 1/2 hour playing with the keyboard/sythesizers/workstation at SamAxx after her violin lesson. What a great way to help her realize that everyone can create music. Playing/practicing instrument is fun and never should be a drag.
Such a relieve to hear that there is yet another option to work for the company. I was pretty worried that my hours would leave me without much flexibility but Teresa told me that I could sign in as a freelancer and work whenever I want. I was thrilled to hear about the opportunity. The Lord knows me and probably laughs at a commitment runner like me.
1/6 (Wed)
Thankful for the sweet postman who closed my PO box account without putting a charge on my late payment and one missing key. Don't think I would ever receive the same treatment had it been a different person at the office.
Grateful for the little candy treat Ana Garxx gave me on my way out to the chapel last night. She was such a great friend and sister. I love her sweet family!
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