Spiritual Thoughts from Sister Kwan!

5/21 (Wed)

Spent several hours pulling weeds from the flower garden and cutting back on the thorny gooseberry plants which I planted two years ago.  How I wish to pluck them out now.  They are growing like weeds and I am careless about their fruit since the plants are so prickly!  Of course, my lower back hurts afterwards.  I am just surprised that I was able to get up from the ground.   I don't think I can garden any more.

5/22 (Thur)

We've been getting some heavy rain for the last couple of days and Johnny was so "smart" to make a trip to Bro. Huey's son's farm to pick bamboo shoots...  the wheels got all muddy and so as our shoes!  And we eventually went to a self service car wash place to get the car clean up before heading home.  It was raining so heavy on the way home.

5/23 (Fri)

Learning to make quiche with Martine.  It was so fun to hang out with Martine and Mia.  So very relaxing!  The Garcia family came over for dinner that evening and it was nice to get to know them. I just love this sweet family.  They are always prepare and ready to help!!!  Jose moves everyone in the ward and they are not afraid to help and serve!  They noticed our tree was down in the lawn as he came to pick up the mattress and stuff we gave away to the other family, and he said he would come to take care of that mess for us.  I thought he just said it but he did really come back a few days after!  So sweet and such a great example of words and deeds!

5/24 (Sat)

Went to the Veals home for a special baptism in the hot tub.  It was really cozy and nice!  Dede's mom gave a good talk on the holy spirit -- Do Not Delay A Prompting! And Dede made an closing statement to the boys that their family is eternal and they will make it back!  I love everything they said... how simple and beautiful this gospel plan is!  Eternal salvation is indeed for everyone who wants to pursue a happy life!

I was planning to call Lori but then I felt like spending some time with my family only.  It's been really tiring with service lately.  So after Evan played tennis with Thomas, we drove to Bensalam to eat at Golden Corax and catch a movie afterwards.  It's a pretty good movie since I stayed up the whole time...  may be because I was knitting in my hands.  :D

5/25 (Sun)

Stressing out on dinner with the Gillax and Rogerx for tomorrow night -- still haven't been able to finalize what I want to make for them.  Came home without Evan (he went to a court of honor with Bro. Hansex).  Jady and I ate lunch and then Johnny came home.  I went to visit teach Gloria for the first time.  Both Gloria and Gina (my companion) are new and I love them all!!!  They are so lovely and enjoyable!!!  I hope to be able to visit at a set schedule.

Johnny took Jady to home teach the Urbinax... and they are again struggling with Claudia's parents -- they both were so sick and needed home care, and the relatives were asking for money to send the parents to nursing home.  I feel so terrible for them!  There's never ending issues with the family.... How can they turn for peace??  So sad!

Made sandwiches with Evan and then went to Nathan's farewell.  It's wonderful!

Came home from the farewell and made two Torte... good that I have decided what to make for dessert for tomorrow night.

5/26 (Mon)

Didn't go to the fun run with Jady... and we went to the store to pick up the ingredients that I needed for the evening.  So stressed...  and Jady had a bleeding nose while we shopped!  :(  I felt like a terrible mother!

Food preparation and then dropped off at the Smallx for BBQ.  I seriously don't feel comfortable going because I am already stressed out!!!  Don't feel like talking when I am thinking what I should be making for dinner for our guests!

Came home around 2:40pm and managed to finish the cooking right before they came.  It's awesome and they loved the salad, the pasta and the dessert!  The kids had a great time hanging out and we had a wonderful time chatting.  These two families are one of our favorite families = in the ward.  I always feel good and comfortable talking with them!  It was an enjoyable evening.  And of course, I forgot to write to Jeannie because of all the stress and busy craziness.... but I was glad to catch her a little.  :)  She is loving her new companion and I bet the two will be awesome sisters in the area.  Love her spiritual thought for this week... (what can you do to keep those cracks tight?):

http://jeanniekwanldsmission.blogspot.com/

This week's spiritual thought is about Ether. It's like one of the craziest books in the Book of Mormon because everyone dies within pages. So then, I'm flipping through this book. Reading it, loving it. And so there's this guy called the brother of Jared. And God tells him to build a boat. And we're told at least 5 times that this thing is "tight like unto a dish." And first of all, I guess that's pretty tight, assuming these things are meant to hold water. Can't spill any. And then I read this (it's Ether 6:7)

 7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah;

And all I could think was. Wow. They had to be tight. They were fully submerged underwater. And that's kind of like us now. Regardless of whether we're aware or not, we're always going under. The waters are rough and crazy, and so is life. We are thrown in all different directions with numerous obstacles. Are we doing all the right things so that WE are "tight like unto a dish"? Because if we allow the slightest crack, then we are going to be in trouble. So my question this week is: What can you do to keep those cracks tight? 

5/13 (Tue) - 5/20 (Tue)

5/13 (Tue)
Nothing much to be done that day only stayed home and reupholster the dining chair cover.  Only had two done and two more to go.

5/14 (Wed)
Visited Miriam with Wendy M.  She cried as we talked about her life and the atonement.  The bishop had counseled with her that she needed to get married and stayed out of the situation.  He had asked her not to partake the sacrament.  She understood why but at the same time she felt like there's no way for her to go back.  Poor thing.... I told her that the Bishop is the one who represents the Lord and he's able to get the revelations for the ward members.  Miriam agreed since the relationship didn't turn out and she felt trapped now.

We all have our weakness... but I know if we poured our heart out to the Lord, He will help us overcome it.  The atonement is there for us to partake and to make it right again if we repent sincerely.

5/15 (Thur)
Went to help Sylvia V. to switch her closet.  This poor sister has severe pain and inflammatory issue all over her body: bone, muscle and blood.  I literally felt her pain every time I saw her with the hand/wrist support.  I know... because I am having less severe issue similar to hers on my hands, wrists and fingers but they are still manageable.  So, I just need to be very careful and adjust my daily activity.

5/16 (Fri)
Stayed at home all day until 3:30.  We got our 6 month supply of food today, so no need to buy meat for awhile.  Then Bill, the pest control guy came to spread the whole house.  He left just in time so that I could pick up Jady for violin lesson.  We headed to Rachel's G. birthday party after violin lesson.  Inga called me in the afternoon and asked if she could have a few sisters stayed with her while her daughter was out on Sat.  It was a little difficult because it's a short notice, and many sisters were to attend the Generax Auxiliarx meeting.  Yet, we got it covered the last minute.  

5/17 (Sat)
Helped watch Inga from 9-11am.  She looked so tired but still in good spirit.  Thank goodness that Donna was there with me so she could stay while I leave before the nurse came.  Then Johnny and I went to the Generax Auxiliarx meeting at noon because he needed to set up.  I was there 2 hours early and I've got to work on my projects... knitting a scarf for Jeannie, reading or playing on the piano (trying to write a song for Jady's baptism).

The meeting was really good and one of the most important thing that I got from the meeting is that I should be grateful to be in this ward.  I always felt that our ward is very needy, but when I heard from the other sisters from the other wards/stakes, I can't help but be more grateful for my own.  Some sisters live in far distance... It might take 2-3 hours to drive to visit someone, so some are relying on modern technology... skypx or facetimx.  I think learning to adjust is the key.  

5/18 (Sun)
Judy told the RS that we needed to set up some hours to help Inga, mon through sat.  Inga is willing to pay for the service so we would just pass along the message and provide whenever we can.  Visited Don Airx and Gladys Werkershiex at the hospital after church.  Don looks pretty good but not Gladys.  I hope she will feel better soon and that the Dr. were able to find out what causes the internal bleeding.

Came home and ate lunch and then cooked for the missionary and the Reyex Family.  I made ham and potato, carrot, something simple.  It was a good meeting and Christine suggested that Amanda and Alex's fiance might be able to help.

5/19 (Mon)
Called Kim, Inga's daughter in-law and provide her with the information.  Then headed out to meet with Evan's guidance counselor at 10:00am.  The meeting went well and I tried and dropped the level on one of Evan's classes.  At this point, I just want him to feel successful and have confidence in school.

Went to stay with Inga from 1-3.  She woke up from a phone call about her dental appointment.  She needed to get a clearance from all the Dr. before her chemo on Friday.  Since her daughter would be busy the next day, I volunteered to help.  I knew it's far beyond my ability to help but I said "yes" anyway. Somehow, I didn't really think of getting help from Evan (school would be close for tomorrow because of school board election day).  I was trying to hoke up Inga with some members who could use the money, but Inga's daughter was very clear about having someone else to care for her mother instead of getting the referral from us.  It was somewhat an unpleasant conversation, but I do respect her honesty.  And I will just let the family figure out their schedule.

Evan's foot appointment  at 3:45p.  Dr. Bernstein trimmed off all the stitches, scabs and some nails.  It looks kind of gross at first, but then it looks as good as it was before.  So grateful for

5/20 (Tue)
Inga 9:15-12:00
Evan and I took Inga to the dentist.  I suddenly realize why there is a need of a professional care.  It's not an easy task to carry the oxygen tank, making sure she is well balanced (since one of her arm was in the sling), have the strength for a spare tank and carried the wheelchair.  It's not that simple!
Lunch with kids
Forgot about Jady's appointment (I am sooooo terrible)

Oh Family... So Much Drama!

5/12 (Mon)

I spent quite some time talking to dad this morning.  I have never seen him so mad at someone that he literally yelled over the phone.  Uncle 6 was being annoying.  He wanted to change the date of uncle 7's graveyard dedication when everyone has already consented of meeting on Sunday of 6/8,  He himself rejected the date because of some superstitious ritual (Uncle 7's mom passed away two weeks ago; so according to Uncle 6, we should wait for Uncle 7's mother-in-law settled first.  It doesn't make sense to us at all... 1) Aunt 7 didn't request any delay because of her mother's passing.  2)  Uncle 7 has already been gone for 2 years and we just want him to settle in a place.  3) Uncle 6 also accused my dad of manipulating aunt 7 for her decision.  He is just miserably upset with dad.  I just worried about his health if he remains upset with everyone.  It's not a good thing!

Dad told me later on that he was also upset with my sister... she opened the red envelope she got from the funeral home and gave that $1 to my dad.  Dad asked what it is for?  And she said, "It's for you to buy stuff."  I told dad she probably didn't put too much thought to this... just want to give it to dad. But, to an elderly man... this is insulting!  Dad said she could have use that $1 to buy food since they were in line to order food.  I don't know whether it's a thoughtless act or an intention with purpose.   Right after Uncle 6's argument with dad, my sister also watsappx me privately of my dates of returning to HK and said they would wait on me for Uncle 7's dedication together.  I thought it was all out of sincere at first until I saw the post from Uncle 6.  I quickly sent her a message that it should be up to Aunt 7 since she is the wife of Uncle 7 and that we need to respect her decision.  She didn't respond afterwards.... But my thinking is, "Why you dragged me down in this situation?"

Dad felt better after we talk.  I hope he will remain calm, forgive, forget and move on.  Nothing is as important as our relationship with others.  It is in this life, and it will continue in the next life.  It's good to be in harmony with everyone so that when the time comes, we will always be at peace.  

Life is suppose to be HAPPY!!!  

 

5/6 - 5/10

5/6 (Tue)

Inga's diagnostic test came back -- it's positive.  The cancerous cells were found in her bone, lung and liver. I am terribly sad for her ending in this condition.  I so worried that she will be depressed for not being able to play her cello.  Inga's life has always been busy with rehearsals and surrounded by friends.  I am hoping to play piano or spend some time with her when she is discharged from the hospital.  So sad!  Inga told her daughter one day and said, "I have a good life!"  I am just glad that she is still so positive even she is at stage 4.

Kind of annoyed by one of the request from a person in the ward -- Me and other families helped them pack, clean and the family still asked for babysitting... like early 7:30am.  I just can't justify with people -- so much service was rendered from one family and it's kind of a thoughtless act to ask people to help babysitting early in the morning.  Didn't she know that others it's the busy hours in the morning and many moms are trying to get their children ready for school?  I have no mercy for this type of situation... so I sent an email to the presidency for a complaint.  I felt kind of mean but I also hope that people will understand this type of request will not be supported.  Please be reasonable.

5/7 (Wed)
Super busy helping set up and clean up for the daytime RS meeting, and helped with the achievement day activity.  I went to the chapel at 10:30a, came home at 2:00p, then went back to the chapel at 6:00pm and didn't come home until 8:40p.  This is getting tiring.  I can't barely carried those tables and I don't think I should do it again.  They are way too heavy for me and it's hurting my arm and fingers.

5/8 (Thur)
Another crazy day!  Prepare pound cake, fruit bowl and headed out to music study group.  I think I did okay with my performance.  The piano was really difficult to play with but according to the owner, Pat Woox said that it's built in 1800s... and her husband was an expert in Chopin's music.  She even gave me a CD he recorded when he was alive.  Incredible technique and the powerful emotions!  He truly was an amazing pianist.  Came home around 4:00 and waited for Weihax (Johnny's badminton friend) for a farewell dinner.  We supposed to meet at 6pm but someone decided to buy his car the same night so we didn't have dinner until 8:00pm.  But he is a wonderful, sweet, genuine guy!  Wish him the very best of luck with a great start in Chinx.

*** Johnny was trying to ground Evan from everything because he got a few C in his current tests.  This is not what I would do so we had an argument before we went to bed.  I reminded him that nothing good comes out from being pushy.  We eventually comprised to have Evan figure out what steps he needs to take in order to pull up his grade.  He can earn his things/privileges back when his grade improve.

5/5 (Fri)
Mia and I went to Martine's house to learn to make crepe (sweet) and galette (savory).  The food was good and we had a lot of fun hanging out!  We even took some food home for the family to taste.  It was really good!!  And next time we are going to make quiche!  Yum!!!   Took Jady to violin lesson afterward, then to her friend, Felicix for a cupcake disco ball party.  Jady had such a fun time that she kept talking about it. And I took the opportunity to take Evan out to Mesx for a mother and son date.  He was really sweet and didn't hide, or embarrassed by me as we passed by the girls from his school.  He even said "hi" to them when I was right next to him.  We talked about school... and I want him to know that he's worth every second of my love even though he didn't perform well at school.  I trusted him that he will turn out fine!  We came up with a plan that he not only study before dinner, but after dinner also.  He also got a hair cut the same night.

5/6 (Sat)
Went to dropped off all the boxes to Lori.  We took the boys to a nearby park and they were having a good time at first.  Until a gentleman showed up with the electric cars and his two boys.  The guy was so sweet that he let the other kids ride on it... and needless to say, the boys fought over their turn.  We took them home and drove to Four Seasox for dim sum.  On our way home, we went to get Evan church pants and shirts and quilts set for our bed.

5/10 (Sun)
Enjoying my mother's day!  Skype with my missionary!!!  It's just awesome and this is the last time I skype her before she comes back!  Can't wait!!!  Open the card from Jeannie, gifts from Jady, and letter and cake from Evan.  Hubby got me a Savior statues... I love them all!!!  So glad that Evan did pay attention to what I said!  :)  My heart is full and I won't ask for more!

                                                                                                                                                             

Mother's Day Preview

So I got an email from Jeannie tonight and I was surprised to hear how much my daughter looked up to me.  I don't think I am ever a good enough mom for my children but these statements from her makes me realize that I did in fact had made an impact in my children's life.

Here's the best mother's day gift a mother would get....   love my child, Jeannie Kwan!!!

I think one of the most valuable lessons I've learned is from my mom. She's not perfect but she's always trying to help someone. And a lot of times, it probably doesn't seem like she's doing anything and she keeps at it. That's a Christlike love. These people hardly ever do anything in return for her, but she keeps doing it. Some people are just born with good hearts. And some people like me are just born with good moms. 

Got a called from Karen tonight about Inga's emergency surgery.  I am a little concern since she broke her upper arm while putting a lid on a traveling mug.  The injury was as severe as she was involved in a car accident so the Dr wants to operate on her as soon as possible.    
Inga has some breathing issue while at the hospital and the Dr. said there's something in her lung that they are trying to find out what it is.  Karen, her daughter is really worried and asked me to contact Bro. Small and Bishox Cook.  I know Danny is out of town and I also found out that Bishox was on a cruise.  So, I asked Johnny and Gary G. to give her a blessing before she went in for a surgery.  I prayed that the surgery will go well and that she will recover from the surgery soon, and I also prayed that her lungs will clear up -- just like my mom's after a few dozes of antibiotic.   I remembered talking to Inga awhile back ago about genealogy work and I might be able to motivate her to do it after the surgery.  Hope all is well with her and her family.  

Evan's Foot Update

So Evan and I went to the podiatrist where he removed all the bandages except the stitches.  The Dr. said everything looks okay but Evan should not be running and jumping yet.  I hope he listens to the instruction since he already argued with me about the shoe he will be wearing tomorrow.  The Dr. suggested of him wearing round, big tennis shoes but most of Evan's shoes were a little pointed and tight for him.  He was mad at us after Johnny and I told him to keep his post surgery boots for another week.  We will see what happen and I hope he will not need to learn from his mistake.

4/28 - 5/4

4/28 - 4/29

Came across a quote from President Josepx Fieldinx Smith the other day as I was reading the RS assignment when he was a bishop, "Remember, everyone has weaknesses, and there are at least two sides to every story.  If you err in judgment, be sure you err on the side of love and mercy."

I just love how much wisdom the prophet has!!!  For the very first time, I truly felt I probably had judged my friend wrong.  Though I had apologized to Pinx before I still want to make sure that she is okay being friends with me.  We will probably never be the kind of friends that we used to, but just friends.  I wasn't really expecting her to response but to my surprise she responded to me twice and even sent me a video about mothers.  I can't tell how much joy I had as I received her emails and reading her whereabouts.  This is the moment that I finally feel being forgiven and that we could move on.  I remember saying my prayer to the Lord for healing the wounds on her and I.  I even told Johnny that I feel like I can die now because I am at peace with everyone.

Yes.  May I never forget this important life lesson, "If you err in judgment, be sure you err on the side of love and mercy."

Super busy and annoyed typing up all the info. for the new vt routes and working on the ward website.  I caught myself falling asleep a few times working on the records.  It's super time consuming and not necessary in my point of view since the information can be printed by the clerks.  I also hope someone will be call to monitor the ward website or else I will be overwhelmed by the emails from ward members who like to post stuff.  I could not imagine myself sitting in front of the computer uploading every single pictures of furniture!

Had a good walk with Judy as we discussed on leadership position at church... She said something that sticks in my mind, "Being leaders at the church can be very lonely."  It's hard to please everyone and not everyone is ready to help and serve... and some confidential matters can not be shared....  I felt prompted to support my RS president no matter how frustrated I was.

4/30

Busy day... Bro. Urbinx came help fix my car but to find out that the parts were for 2WD after working in the garage for 4 hours.  I felt so terrible since that's the only day off he has for the family and he didn't get the needed rest or picked up his wife after work.  We agreed to pay him for the amount that the shop will charge us (probably a little more since he would be spending more time on fixing the problem)  even though it's not our fault to order the wrong parts.

It was raining so bad  that church even got cancelled.  I still had to go because I had an appointment with the Elder to train me how to monitor the ward website, and I have promised to send them pizza.  We also had a RS presidency meeting with a few unexpected needs -- someone need help cleaning before inspection, and then organizing a funeral.

5/1 (Thur)

Super busy... leading the discussion at scripture study on priesthood.  I think the Lord do prepare people to speak as they prayed for the spirit.  I literally only had an hour to prepare the lesson because I have been spending tons on time typing the vt route and get familiarize with the ward website.  I couldn't even went back to bed after I dropped off Evan.... started cooking for Tammy's family, then the Lori O.  Danny was out of town and Tammy needed to dress up the sister at the funeral home.  She already went to help the other sister cleaned up the night before so I really feel like doing something for her.

The discussion went well -- to my benefit as always.  It went well with the reading that I am currently studying the book "Heritage".  I could feel the spirit testified to me Josepx Smith was guided and baptized by the instruction of John the Baptist.  I could feel very strong that he did in fact receive revelation of the church after being confirmed.  I am grateful for his sacrifice and faith to restore the gospel.  Only through the power of the priesthood ordinances we were able to enjoy all the blessings of eternity.  The righteous priesthood holder not only able to uplift others but also comfort and bless the sinner, the sick and the afflicted!  How cool is that?  

Went to Mia to make hair bow, then off to deliver meal to Lori O... took me an hour to get there since their address won't show up on the GPS.  Got home and have Evan called on the Jensens because their mom was out of town... so, I have Evan and Johnny deliver a meal to them.

Johnny was asked to be promoted but he wanted to think about it since he doesn't like the traveling schedule just like his boss.  He and his boss will talk.

5/2 (Fri)

A good morning rest!!!  Then went to see Michelle G. helped her sweep and vacuum her apartment, then took her out to chinese buffet.  We had a great time.  She left her phone and bottom teeth at the stall in the bathroom.... that's just too funny.  I am going to shop for a waist bag for her.  :)

5/3 (Sat)

Went and played piano for the funeral at 10:30am and helped with part of the clean up.  I stayed until 2:00 but the other sisters stayed until the family was gone.  I finally knew who this sister was at the viewing.  She is a sweet, African American sister that not that many people knew about because of her chronic illness.  But, I remember getting a phone call at home that she wanted Johnny to schedule an appointment with Pre. Coxxx for the renewal of her temple recommend a few weeks before her passing.  I just am impressed with the faith she has for the gospel and our church.   While at the service, I wondered what kind of eulogy my friends and family would give me when I die.  What I want people to remember determines how I live my life now!

After the funeral, we took Evan and Jady to Goodwilx to pick up some pioneers clothing.  I think we are good for now! Came home and went to the Greens for an authentic French dinner with Howarx and Grimshax.  The food was soooooo good and we all had a great time chatting with each other.

5/4 (Sun)

We had the new route distributed and of course some sisters complained about the distance of their route and some were just upset with the new assignment.  Again, we can't please everyone.  Judy and Abby gave really good talks on the assignment was inspired that that to her it's ease her concerns of why we are to teach these sisters that we don't know or hate.  Abby also reinforced the idea that the compassionate service call system was an inspired program and it provide us a way to remember our baptismal covenant  -- to help and uplift one another.  If we all contribute even an hour or two a week, some of these sisters in the ward will never not be burned by the needy family they visited.  Charity never failed!