My List

After much contemplation, here is my priority list as to what I want to become.  It's in a form of open questions so any ideas will not be restricted.  I hope I'll follow through.

1.  How can I be more Christ like?

2.  How can I help Jeannie strengthen her testimony in Christ and the importance of temple marriage?

2.   How can I help Jady and Evan enjoy and appreciate music?

3.   How can I financially support my parents?

4.  How can I be a good trader or a knowledgeable loan officer?

Let me put this to work and see how it goes... :)

Checking Into Life

It's uncle 7's birthday today.... I sobbed as I saw his birthday notification.  I can't believe I never realize his thoughtful intention to reconnect with us when he first created the "relative" group on fb.  I have no idea that he's been so weak and sick.  Things would have been different if I know.  But, why?  Why can't I be a little more sensitive, or genuine in the first place? Where have I been in the past few years?  I don't even remember to wish him happy birthday last year, and isn't it too late to say it now?  I really, really, really miss him, and I really, really, really hate myself for being slow to act.     

A couple weeks ago, I found out that dad wasn't feeling well when I thought he was fine all these time.  I hate that when mom didn't tell me when he is  is sick.  I wouldn't find out if I didn't call.  Yesterday, when I called them, dad told me that mom went to the Yan On hospital and got a shot because she's been having a really bad headache.  I talked to her several times on the phone, but I just can't stop worrying about her.  I was really upset last night as I found out that she went to play mahjong with her friends when she is supposed to take some rest.  She is leaving for a tour to China today with dad, and it's not making me worry less! I hope they have a good time and nothing happen.

Yeah, Jeannie was called to serve as a compassionate service leader!  I am so glad that she got to help and be part of others life.  The Bishop must be truly inspired since Jeannie is girl with a good heart.  I need to send her some note cards!  :D

Last weekend was great.  We drove to Christine M's house in VA.  We went to the temple on Sat., and spent another night with them so that I can learn some Chinese, Vietnamese dishes.  The trip to the temple was inspirational -- I was praying for some guidance on Jeannie, mom and myself.... the word "prioritize" keeps echoing in my head.... not once, but many, many, many, many times.  Looks like I need put my list in order before figuring out my next step.

The week before was fun.... Thanks so Sister Wright for asking me to be her accompanist.  It really is quite an experience, and I have the privilege to be asked to join the club - I think the average age of these ladies are 70.  I am not kidding, but I love old people.  Here is my except from fb:  

An old lady approached me after we were done with the performance, and through our conversation I found out that she is in fact 92-year-old. She invited me to join her club, and I thought for a moment because I wondered if I have time to practice. She probably see me puzzled, and made a comment that has been sticking in my mind: "Music is great, isn't it? You just want to play until you can't play

anymore!" Even though she doesn't play anymore, she keeps on coming, participating and supporting her friends every month. I am impressed with her attitude and her love and passion in music. Her remarks was insightful; not only in music, but in every aspects of life - we just have to be the best "player" we can be in everything that we do, and "play" until the day we died.

Live strong, waste not, for each day itself is a blessing.

Pauline

Best Thing In Life

Well, it's been a week since Jeannie was gone.  By the many fb messages and phone calls, I am finally convinced that she is really loving her college life.  She loves her classes and enjoys her time with her roommates.  I might sound like an old lady, but seriously... the best thing in life is to see your child being happy - it really is PRICELESS!!!!  :)

* No blood work for Jeannie until she comes back. Her Dr. said nothing is urgent and she ruled out the few serious diseases that I was worried about!  Yeah!!!! 

* My child also told me that she got a date on the 2nd day of school.... someone took her out to an ice-cream.  That silly girl felt bad about him paying, but Johnny said that she needs to get used to it!  :D I am sooooo happy for her... she is in Heaven!!!!!  Yes, yes, yes to church college.  It's been a wonderful blessing for her and us!!!!

Second Call

I'm so glad that my child call me again tonight!!!  She was actually shopping at the grocery store by herself. hum..... wish there's someone with her or help her carry the stuff to the dorm.  Thank goodness Johnny told me that the store is about 2 mins from her dorm.  She said she is going to eat cereal everyday... oh, no! my poor kid.  "what about waffles, and pancakes"?   Since there are not many options for her to pick, she bought ramen noodles, pasta and pasta sauce, mac and cheese, milk and cereal.  I wish I am there to cook for her.  But, I guess it's part of college life; and that we all learn and struggle from it.  Hope she will remember to go to the cafeteria and eat something good tomorrow!!!   wonder if she is home now... they have activities until 11pm. I hope she is having fun!  

On the other hand, I went to badminton with Johnny and Evan tonight.  It's so nice that I get to talk to the ladies there... and most importantly, they speak Cantonese! 

i was in the hallway talking when Jady ran to me panicking in tears.
jady: mommmmyyyyyy.....
me: (my first instinct: man, my baby got stuck by a bug).... what's the matter, jade?
jady: i swallow it.... sobbing....
me: what?
jady: i swallow it....
me: what did you swallow?
jady: the gum. can you take it out? (she open her month)
me: (check into her mouth; of course the gum was gone)... well, that's okay, don't worry, you'll be fine!
jady: can you not take me to the dentist?
me: why?
jady: coz daddy said the dentist will cut open my stomach to take it out! (poor child, she was very serious about it)
me: (laughing).... no, don't be silly.... you just need to poop it out.... (whispering in her ears)
jady: but what if it wouldn't come out?
me: oh yes, it will and mom is going to check on it!
jady: but i can't poop right now... (talking in my ears since her friend Athena was watching)
me: (can't hold my laugh anymore....) it's okay.... you can poop tomorrow!
jady: ooohhhh..... (she finally put on a smile)

gosh, that was too funny!!!!!

Adjustment!

I almost burst into tears when I heard my child over the phone!!!  No words can explain the joy that I had and knowing that she is enjoying herself, reuniting with old friends, and having fun.  I've been so worry about her adjustment, health and other related issues.  It's just overwhelming to me how much she has to go through.  I'm so glad that Johnny was there with her and walked her though the admission.  She is such a lucky girl!!  On the other hand, I still worry about her blood work...  needs to talk to Dr. Mellx for an advice again on Monday.  Don't want to call and bug my girl all the time because that's what I hate if my mom does that!  :D  Plus, she has such a tight schedule!  Thank goodness that we have facebook and email.... I'm happy and content now!

Sent Jeannie this email and hope she won't get homesick!!!!  

so we just went and read the book of mormon stories before jady and evan goes to bed. we were at the chapter of alma the younger and his conversion story....

evan: they are so lucky... they can wear their capes leisurely, see... (pointing at the pictures where he sees all the people wearing capes).

jady: starring at evan.... "so you wanna be a super hero when you grow up?"....

man.... where do they come from?? have a good nite, sweetheart! xoxoxo, mom 

She is Leaving...

The day has come.... I can't believe Jeannie is really leaving.  In a couple of  hours, she will be on the other side of the coast, meeting some awesome young single adults.  I had mixed emotions about this, but for now I am settled and  happy that she is actually leaving Philly. 

Heavenly Father knows our struggles, and this is the right time to send her off and put her back to the environment where she suppose to.  It will definitely be a better place for her than it was in the high school!

ps. Jeannie's lab test came back... she is not anemia, but not sure if she has von willebrand disease just like Jady.  Our family physician is on vacation and won't be back until next Monday.  I am a little concerned for the fact that her white blood count is low.  The Dr. said she might had a viral infection and she needs to have a complete blood test done again in a week.  Hope all is well!
    

Totally Frustrated!

My emotions has been out of whack since I come home.... don't know if it's caused by jet lag or for the fact that Jeannie is leaving soon.  I've been picking on her a lot lately.... I mean a lot... for not cleaning up the crumbs off the microwave, the mess from the counter, the dirty dishes that are not done right etc.  I just hate to repeat myself and don't want her to be dislike by her new roommates.  She is going to start a real life soon and I really am tense about it.  My friend, Farrinx was wise, she once said, "one thing that you can help a child is to learn to stop helping him/her."  I don't think I agree with her at that moment, but now I totally understand what she meant.  May be it's time to let go, to let her explore, experience, or learned from the mistakes!  My dear Lord, please help me to be more patient with her in this upcoming week!