Monday, August 13, 2012
Totally Frustrated!
My emotions has been out of whack since I come home.... don't know if it's caused by jet lag or for the fact that Jeannie is leaving soon. I've been picking on her a lot lately.... I mean a lot... for not cleaning up the crumbs off the microwave, the mess from the counter, the dirty dishes that are not done right etc. I just hate to repeat myself and don't want her to be dislike by her new roommates. She is going to start a real life soon and I really am tense about it. My friend, Farrinx was wise, she once said, "one thing that you can help a child is to learn to stop helping him/her." I don't think I agree with her at that moment, but now I totally understand what she meant. May be it's time to let go, to let her explore, experience, or learned from the mistakes! My dear Lord, please help me to be more patient with her in this upcoming week!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Home Tomorrow?
I spent most of the day packing... still felt like this is a dream. I never thought of going home under this circumstances.... never thought that I go home for a funeral, for my uncle 7. It truly hit hard as it's getting close to my departure. The realization came that this really is the last time I will see him...... I might be better off not going home in the first place... at least he will live in my heart forever. I need to stop crying... it's tough enough to go home without the kids and Johnny.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Head Injury
Our day started pretty smooth this morning until lunch time....
As I was about to leave home, I remembered that the Joseph family is coming over for dinner tonight; so I reached to the freezer and grabbed a few packages of chicken drumsticks to thaw. The freezer was fully packed with frozen meat as I opened because we just had the food delivered to us a few weeks ago. After I took the chicken out from the freezer, a frozen water bottle (which Evan put in the freezer for his basketball game) rolled over and dropped on the floor. So, I attempted to pick it up but then a chuck of frozen packaged meat fell off and landed on the back of my head.
I was in pain and screamed for help. I cried and the kids ran and got me a few ice pack. I was a little dizzy, but thank goodness no throwing up! I couldn't figure out where the pain came from until I switched to a different ice pack. Evan saw the blood on the ice pack and he told me that I was bleeding. Now, I was panic!!! I thought to myself.... no... I don't want stitches.... no.... I don't need any drama before my trip to HK.... no emergency room visit! I don't know when, but Johnny came downstairs with a towel. He told me to let go of my hands and let him take a look at the cut. Thank goodness, the cut was not too big, but I still felt bump on top of it. I was in pain for a good 15 mins. then, somehow Jeannie suggested that I should take a pain medicine to prevent the inflammation and swelling. I did as instructed. Evan also suggested that I should get a blessing. So, Johnny called on our home teacher, Bro. Reyxxx, who was at that time painting his house, to come over and give me a blessing.
After Bro. Reyxxx left, I rested for a little and waited for the pain to subside. Since I won't be seeing the kids for the next two weeks, I insisted that we should still go out and eat as a family. While we were at the restaurant, I couldn't help but to be thankful that it actually happens to me. My thought was that it might happen to any of my kids next week while I am gone. But now they learned to be more cautious and careful as they get the food out from the freezer. I am also grateful for Johnny and Bro. Reyxxx's blessing on me. I know I will be healed.... well even though I am still a little sore on my head, at least it's definitely better than this morning. :)
As I was about to leave home, I remembered that the Joseph family is coming over for dinner tonight; so I reached to the freezer and grabbed a few packages of chicken drumsticks to thaw. The freezer was fully packed with frozen meat as I opened because we just had the food delivered to us a few weeks ago. After I took the chicken out from the freezer, a frozen water bottle (which Evan put in the freezer for his basketball game) rolled over and dropped on the floor. So, I attempted to pick it up but then a chuck of frozen packaged meat fell off and landed on the back of my head.
I was in pain and screamed for help. I cried and the kids ran and got me a few ice pack. I was a little dizzy, but thank goodness no throwing up! I couldn't figure out where the pain came from until I switched to a different ice pack. Evan saw the blood on the ice pack and he told me that I was bleeding. Now, I was panic!!! I thought to myself.... no... I don't want stitches.... no.... I don't need any drama before my trip to HK.... no emergency room visit! I don't know when, but Johnny came downstairs with a towel. He told me to let go of my hands and let him take a look at the cut. Thank goodness, the cut was not too big, but I still felt bump on top of it. I was in pain for a good 15 mins. then, somehow Jeannie suggested that I should take a pain medicine to prevent the inflammation and swelling. I did as instructed. Evan also suggested that I should get a blessing. So, Johnny called on our home teacher, Bro. Reyxxx, who was at that time painting his house, to come over and give me a blessing.
After Bro. Reyxxx left, I rested for a little and waited for the pain to subside. Since I won't be seeing the kids for the next two weeks, I insisted that we should still go out and eat as a family. While we were at the restaurant, I couldn't help but to be thankful that it actually happens to me. My thought was that it might happen to any of my kids next week while I am gone. But now they learned to be more cautious and careful as they get the food out from the freezer. I am also grateful for Johnny and Bro. Reyxxx's blessing on me. I know I will be healed.... well even though I am still a little sore on my head, at least it's definitely better than this morning. :)
Friday, July 13, 2012
回家
掙扎了數天,我決定回香港送摯愛的七叔最後一程。
最後跟七叔的email, 他知道我2013年將會返港, 還道2013年見... 每次看到這個email, 我就不禁落淚。為什麼我們決定今年不回家? 只少我可以見他多一面吧! 我十萬個不願意來年見到他的時候在廟宇內, 今次回家, 我還可以見到他真人的最後一面, 見一面, 那我就心安, 永不後悔。 機票已定下, 七月二十七日到港, 不知道落機當日可否到儐儀館見見他?
最後跟七叔的email, 他知道我2013年將會返港, 還道2013年見... 每次看到這個email, 我就不禁落淚。為什麼我們決定今年不回家? 只少我可以見他多一面吧! 我十萬個不願意來年見到他的時候在廟宇內, 今次回家, 我還可以見到他真人的最後一面, 見一面, 那我就心安, 永不後悔。 機票已定下, 七月二十七日到港, 不知道落機當日可否到儐儀館見見他?
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Worst Day of My Life...
I woke up this morning and saw Patrick gor gor's fb message about my uncle's passing. What? My favorite uncle? My uncle-7?? I called dad and he confirmed of the bad news.... No, dad.... this is not true. No, I refuse to believe it.....NO! NO! NO!.... I don't think I had a minute today that I am not thinking of my uncle. I acted as if I am alive, but I can't hear, I can think, and I am not there. My head hurt, my heart is broken, both my eyes are swelling and constantly filled with tears. I tried to tell myself that it's okay (he is in a better place), and I tried to focus and wrote down all of the memories he shared with me, but it's just so hard to let go! Why him? Why? Johnny and the kids tried to comfort me, but I can't stop crying.... my eyes started to hurt and I still want to cook for the family...
I starred at the sky this evening while cooking.... kept thinking about my uncle who's in the sky now .... it got really dark and cloudy around 6:15am right before Jeannie came home. It was cloudy with lighting for about 10 mins... even Jady asked to close the blinds because she was scared. We all thought it was going to rain, but there wasn't even a drop of rain. What's more? The dark cloud and all the lighting went away, and the sky became bright and clear again. It was calm at last. I was even able to see the beautiful, purplish sunset. It happens all within 30 mins during dinner. We all think the weather was weird, but it was the strangest feeling ever... as if uncle 7 was sending me a signal, "ok.... enough mourning... it's all over now... no more tears and sorrow.... all is well!"
Uncle 7 is my favorite uncle.... he is like my parents. My parents work day and night when I was young, and so my brother and I would stay at my grandma and uncle's house everyday after school. Uncle 7 loves kid and he is in fact a big kid himself. He likes to joke around and play tricks on me! He is always fun and playful... and I I had many, many good memories with him.
I wish I had never came to the US.... I would have spent more time with him and grandma before their passing. I still regret not being around grandma before she passed away. I am scared.... terribly scared.... they both are my most loved ones besides my parents... and I couldn't help to think about my parents and the "what ifs"...
I will never forget my uncle 7, and I hope my children to know what a good uncle I have!
Here is the memoir of my uncle:
Uncle 7 .... my heart is broken, and I still can't believe you have left us. I just want to write down a little about you as now I am calmed . Thank you for bringing so much joy in my life. I had fond memories of my childhood because of you. I will never forget you!!!
Your laughter, your playfulness will always be in my heart. Wish you and our two grandma and grandpa are all well in the Heavenly kingdom. We will meet again some day!
Niece, Ka Man
Me: Uncle 7, why do you play tennis so late at night?
Uncle 7: because no one will use the elevator at night, silly girl. (Uncle 7 likes playing tennis against the wall at the end elevator at Block 23)
Me: Uncle 7, can try I? (He would hold my little hand and let me hit the ball a few times.)
Uncle 7: wanna go and eat? (Uncle 7 would take me out to eat really late at night after 9:00pm)
Me: Yeah!
Uncle 7: I want the pig feet flat noodle, how about you?
Me: I want the beef ball flat noodle ... (because I know he likes that) .... Gradually, I fell in love with beef ball flat noodle too.
Uncle 7 play card games with me and my friends all the time.
Me: Uncle 7, I'm not going to play with you if you continue to hit so hard!
Uncle 7: ha ha ha.... You will never grow up if I don't hit hard ... ha ha ha!!
Me: Uncle 7, what are you doing?
Uncle 7: practicing Chinese calligraphy!
Me: Why?
Uncle 7: to develop my patience!
Me: Can I try?
Uncle 7: Sure! (He gave me a piece of paper and I drew a piece of bamboo)
Uncle 7: What is this? So ugly ah ha ha?
Me: Your's is ugly too!!! I stick out my tongue.
Uncle 7: You are better off grinding the ink for me, haha!
Uncle 7: I used to change your dirty diaper!
Me: What? Did you really?
Uncle 7: Yes... ask your parents, but your dirty diaper is very expensive!
Me: Why?
Uncle 7: Because you study overseas ah, silly!
*dirty diaper - means those who had an education but don't do well implying the concepts learned
Uncle 7 loves playing ping pong with us outside the hallway at our apartment.
Me: Why are you always the "king"? (whoever wins the game will get to stay and play until he loses, and the winner will be called king)
Uncle 7: Because I play really good ah, silly girl!
Uncle 7: Hey guys .... fold the table .... the gas guy need to get through!
Me: Uncle 7, check this out ...
Uncle 7: Bread? Is this bread? Why is it hard like a rock? It will kill a dog if you throw it to him. Ha ha ha!
But he still ate it after a big laugh!
Uncle 7: Hey, you forgot something!!!
Me: what?
Uncle 7 would point to his cheek.... and I will climb up on his bunk bed and give him a big kiss before I went back to my parents apartment.
This is my uncle 7.... my favorite... my most loved uncle in the world! May the Lord be with you! Love you forever!
I starred at the sky this evening while cooking.... kept thinking about my uncle who's in the sky now .... it got really dark and cloudy around 6:15am right before Jeannie came home. It was cloudy with lighting for about 10 mins... even Jady asked to close the blinds because she was scared. We all thought it was going to rain, but there wasn't even a drop of rain. What's more? The dark cloud and all the lighting went away, and the sky became bright and clear again. It was calm at last. I was even able to see the beautiful, purplish sunset. It happens all within 30 mins during dinner. We all think the weather was weird, but it was the strangest feeling ever... as if uncle 7 was sending me a signal, "ok.... enough mourning... it's all over now... no more tears and sorrow.... all is well!"
Uncle 7 is my favorite uncle.... he is like my parents. My parents work day and night when I was young, and so my brother and I would stay at my grandma and uncle's house everyday after school. Uncle 7 loves kid and he is in fact a big kid himself. He likes to joke around and play tricks on me! He is always fun and playful... and I I had many, many good memories with him.
I wish I had never came to the US.... I would have spent more time with him and grandma before their passing. I still regret not being around grandma before she passed away. I am scared.... terribly scared.... they both are my most loved ones besides my parents... and I couldn't help to think about my parents and the "what ifs"...
I will never forget my uncle 7, and I hope my children to know what a good uncle I have!
Here is the memoir of my uncle:
Uncle 7 .... my heart is broken, and I still can't believe you have left us. I just want to write down a little about you as now I am calmed . Thank you for bringing so much joy in my life. I had fond memories of my childhood because of you. I will never forget you!!!
Your laughter, your playfulness will always be in my heart. Wish you and our two grandma and grandpa are all well in the Heavenly kingdom. We will meet again some day!
Niece, Ka Man
Me: Uncle 7, why do you play tennis so late at night?
Uncle 7: because no one will use the elevator at night, silly girl. (Uncle 7 likes playing tennis against the wall at the end elevator at Block 23)
Me: Uncle 7, can try I? (He would hold my little hand and let me hit the ball a few times.)
Uncle 7: wanna go and eat? (Uncle 7 would take me out to eat really late at night after 9:00pm)
Me: Yeah!
Uncle 7: I want the pig feet flat noodle, how about you?
Me: I want the beef ball flat noodle ... (because I know he likes that) .... Gradually, I fell in love with beef ball flat noodle too.
Uncle 7 play card games with me and my friends all the time.
Me: Uncle 7, I'm not going to play with you if you continue to hit so hard!
Uncle 7: ha ha ha.... You will never grow up if I don't hit hard ... ha ha ha!!
Me: Uncle 7, what are you doing?
Uncle 7: practicing Chinese calligraphy!
Me: Why?
Uncle 7: to develop my patience!
Me: Can I try?
Uncle 7: Sure! (He gave me a piece of paper and I drew a piece of bamboo)
Uncle 7: What is this? So ugly ah ha ha?
Me: Your's is ugly too!!! I stick out my tongue.
Uncle 7: You are better off grinding the ink for me, haha!
Uncle 7: I used to change your dirty diaper!
Me: What? Did you really?
Uncle 7: Yes... ask your parents, but your dirty diaper is very expensive!
Me: Why?
Uncle 7: Because you study overseas ah, silly!
*dirty diaper - means those who had an education but don't do well implying the concepts learned
Uncle 7 loves playing ping pong with us outside the hallway at our apartment.
Me: Why are you always the "king"? (whoever wins the game will get to stay and play until he loses, and the winner will be called king)
Uncle 7: Because I play really good ah, silly girl!
Uncle 7: Hey guys .... fold the table .... the gas guy need to get through!
Me: Uncle 7, check this out ...
Uncle 7: Bread? Is this bread? Why is it hard like a rock? It will kill a dog if you throw it to him. Ha ha ha!
But he still ate it after a big laugh!
Uncle 7: Hey, you forgot something!!!
Me: what?
Uncle 7 would point to his cheek.... and I will climb up on his bunk bed and give him a big kiss before I went back to my parents apartment.
This is my uncle 7.... my favorite... my most loved uncle in the world! May the Lord be with you! Love you forever!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
She Is Ready!
I've been quite impressed with Jeannie lately. A few weeks ago, we found out that she asked a YM from the stake whether he would be interested to go to the school prom with her. I never thought my daughter would do such a thing and wondered if she might in fact like this kid. What I found out is that this YM actually goes to a private school and there will never be a prom because of the small school size. Yet, he wanted an experience of a prom and how it's like. So, Jeannie asked if he would like to go with her. That's how it started!
Another occasion.... I got an email from Jeannie's seminary teacher of the scriptures that she hasn't memorized. I have no clue how she was behind since all the kids had the same amount of time to memorize and recite during the class time. This is what she said, "You know MiguXX and I are always the last people to finish... I just don't want him to feel bad for being the last one all the time." My heart was filled with joy as I heard of it.
I am very proud of Jeannie and thankful for her example and thoughtfulness of others. Sometimes we hurry in life and forget the people around us. Other times we stepped on others in order to win the race. I am glad that she chose to slow down and be with those who needs a helping hand. Now I am convinced that she is capable of taking care of herself and others while in college. I know she is ready!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Trip to the Orthopedic
I finally went to the orthopedic to check on the problems with my lower back and elbow. Since the blood work showed an inflammation (tendonitis) but the x-ray looked fine; so the Dr. gave me a shot at the elbow to alleviate the pain. But the x-ray on the lower back wasn't so promising. The spine was a little curvy to the right and asymmetrical towards the bottom; the bone and muscle ratio was out of balance and that came the pain. There is nothing he could do to help since it was inborn and he has never done this type of surgery. So, I was referred to see the physical therapist.
I wasn't thrill with the news but at least I know what's going on and learn to adjust my posture and daily activities accordingly.... and I think saving my time and money to the chiropractor is a plus too!
I wasn't thrill with the news but at least I know what's going on and learn to adjust my posture and daily activities accordingly.... and I think saving my time and money to the chiropractor is a plus too!
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