Things To Be Grateful For...

7/16 (Mon)

I love Mondays even though it always seemed to be the craziest day of the week. 

I took Jady and Evan to drop off a birthday gift to a sister today. This sister has a previous marriage and one child before she married this guy. Her husband also has multiple children and wives from previous marriages. So, together they have many children and grandchildren but they are only my age. According to the wife, her husband didn't make enough to either pay for his family or child support. He never earned a degree and refused to get a second job to support the family. I feel bad for this sister every time I see her. I couldn't even imagine the stress she has in dealing with the chaotic family situation.

As we drove home today after Evan's reading lesson, we talked about how important it is for him to be a righteous priesthood holder. I reminded him to be serious about his education so that his wife and children will be taking care of and most importantly be happy around him. And this morning as I woke up, he was reading my human physiology and anatomy book. He said he might want to be a Dr. or some sort. We shall see!

On a different note, Jeannie and I went on another chatting session today. I quickly turned on the laptop as I came back from Evan's reading lesson. Then, off I went to fix dinner for Johnny so that he could go watch Evan play basketball. As I came back to the laptop, I saw the message "Mom, are you on?" She was indeed looking for a chat with me -- and that really makes my day!!! I needed to figure out the time zone in HK so that we can still chat.

As for Jady -- got to love her "honesty"! Johnny has several meeting this week so that he was out working quite a bit. One night this little one heard the garage door opened, she got up and said, "wait, daddy is here. Free time is over." She then quickly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Johnny and I had a good laugh about it. Got to love this smart little one!

Patience, Love and Understanding

Jul 11 (Thur)

I have to agree what the prophet said on a conference talk: "Patience - a heavenly virtue".  Last week's visit with Ruby and Norma went well, and I've learned yet another lesson as usual.   When we were there, a resident who was mentally challenged hit and yelled at a nurse as the nurse tried to clean up the mess.  My first thinking was, "Oh no... I would never want to be a nurse".  The nurse acted as if there's nothing happened when she silently, patiently clean up the mess.  Then the other resident came along to our table and took our bag of cotton ball away.  The same nurse came and told the resident not to disturbed us.  She also turned to Norma and asked if she would like a cup of pudding.  I didn't hear a word of complain as I watched her deal with everything that's going on.  She was so patient and pleasant and I truly admire her being understanding!

We also had yet one more unexpected visitor this time who sang songs to Jady, danced and tried to entertain us while we were talking to Norma.  She was such a darling and I had a feeling that she might be a school teacher when she was younger.  It was an eye opening experience to the kids since they've never been around with people who has mental issues.  Before we left, we also visited Ruby... and as usual she asked us to give her kisses, we hugged and kissed and all of a sudden she looked into our eyes and told us, "Remember, I love you!", and I told her that we love her very much too!  Before we went into the elevator, Ruby kept telling the other people to let us in first.  She was so protective and sweet!  How blessed we are to get to know her?!  She is absolutely a blessing to us and I just wanted to be like her!  My heart was full as I drove home that day -- Evan and I had a great lesson and discussion on love, kindness, patience and understanding.  We will be more patient with one another if we seek to understand; and it never hurt to be kind and loving.  My little goal in life for now is to strive to understand people better and be pleasant around those who I associate with.  I hope my son will remember this day and practice these virtues throughout his life.  

It was uncle 7's first anniversary this past Monday and I can't believe he's been gone for a year already.  I cried again as I looked at his webpage -- this is so not fair.  As a matter of fact, I need to hurry and put his name in the temple for the ordinances.  I hope he is having a good life there!  

Other than that it's been a good week... and I really can't wait to go home.  I just want to go home at this point -- think I might be a little depressed for no apparent reason.  I seriously didn't do much this week except driving Evan around for basketball games/practices and reading lessons, but somehow I felt like I have been busy in and out of the house and didn't get much done.  :(  Well, at least I visited my sisters, and hang out with Tammy and Laura.  We had a great time catching up.  And Hal was really awesome to help me with another trading training session.  He is truly an amazing friend and teacher!  The kids wanted to go fishing yesterday but we couldn't find any earthworm at Walmarx and Evan forgot to bring his box of hokes and stuff... and it was a little late by the time I woke up from a nap.  Sorry, kiddos -- mom's fault!  We will have to do it next week.

It feels kind of weird having only one kid at home.  Hope Evan is having a good time at the youth conference.  Jady and I did a lot of painting today after visiting Dexx..  Then, we went out to eat, walked around BigLoxx and Barns&Noxxx and had a relaxing night.  I am grateful!

Oh, life is good!

Have trouble sleeping lately... either the phone keeps on ringing or the lawn mowing guys were too loud working outside our lawn; or may be I am just too hyper with my music, the painting project and trades.  I was thrilled to reconnect with Hal and Ivy after 24 years!  Ivy was the sister missionary who taught me the lessons and baptized me.  I was a pretty tough investigator though I have to say.  Dad was very opposed to Christianity so I was never able to bring the missionaries home for discussion, and I kept on rescheduling the appointment with them; but she never gave up!  I am forever grateful for her persistent.  This gospel has truly been a blessing in my life!  

As for Hal, he served as a missionary in my home ward.  I still remembered him panic as he and his companion were separated.  It must be a p day and somehow we were on the same bus ride, and he said a slang that he shouldn't.  But that scene stuck in my head for years because it's funny.  I just reconnect with him after 24 years.  He was so awesome to answer all my trading questions the other night.  Time really flies much faster than we thought.  I can't wait to see Ivy in HK this summer and may be Hal someday.  Man... 24 years is a LONG time, got to love FB for this!  ;)

Emailing back and forth with Jeannie on her p day was fun!  Hahaha..... this kid knows mom's schedule and habit!   Yes, once in the morning and once at night.  She is doing great but a little discouraged at times when people don't want to listen.  I am really glad that the members and people were nice -- she told me how much I would enjoy living there having my own garden!!  That silly girl!

Evan has been really diligent doing indexing.  I think he has finished more names that I did.  So very proud of him.  Jady keeps me smiling as usual!  We went and got rid of a bunch of her toys last night.  I told her if she cleans up her room, we will go get paints for our new project!  :D  

Anyway, this email also made my day, and I so wanted to do more for the church!

Dear Sister Kwan,

            We have received your songs, “A Child’s Prayer” and “When I Am Baptized” from the Friend for consideration.  We are grateful to be aware of your talent.  The message, as well as the spirit of your work, is greatly appreciated.

Because of your talent and interest, we would like you to be aware of the annual Church Music Submission program, which has been established to review, catalog and consider music for possible Church use.

We have enclosed a copy of the submission guidelines.  We would be pleased if you would return the additional materials needed so that we can include your work as an official submission.  We would also welcome any future submissions you may have.

We wish you well as you continue to bless the Church by developing your musical talents.  Thank you for sharing your work with us.

Sincerely,

xxxxxx

General Music Committee

  

The Past Nine Months

It's been a rough nine months.  Thank goodness that mom and Johnny were there to listen.  Life threw me a challenge when I was least expected.  The most important lesson that I learned through this trail was to learn to communication with the Lord and to trust in Him completely -- I mean COMPLETELY!  He is indeed the only source of peace.

We sent Jeannie her way to MTC two weeks ago on 6/8.  It's so difficult to let her go.. and seeing her leave by herself for I know I won't be able to see her in 18 months --- that's really hard!  We both cried as I dropped her off at the Philly airport.  But at the same time, there is a sense of peace that I cannot describe as I know she will be in good hands -- in Lord's hand.  I will now trade her experience for anything!  The Lord knows her will, her strength and weakness.  He doesn't call on those who are capable, but only on those who are willing.  She will be a great missionary and I have no doubt about it. She will come home and be a great leader in the church!  That's all I need to know.  

Things are going pretty well today.  I took the kids to visit Norma and accidentally met a lady named Ruby and her family.  Ruby is 89 years old, and a resident there at the nursing home.  She also suffered Alzheimer disease like Norma.  Ruby's daughter, Vikki was there visiting her from Maryland with her husband and son. It's kind of sad as Ruby introduced Vikki to me as her mother, and her grandson as her own son.  Of course, Vikki and I didn't correct her since we know how Alzheimer patients are. Ruby is really sweet in nature, very much like Norma.  She kept asking me and the kids to give her a kiss; and of course we did (like over 10 times in a 15 mins visit) even though this is the first time we ever met!  I really don't mind kissing her as long as she is feeling loved.  I am just surprised that Evan and Jady kissed her back too!  :D  

I truly believe the Lord had our life time table all planned out before we came.  Vikki asked what my name was before our leaving and interesting enough -- Ruby's other daughter as well as her own middle name is Pauline!  We were stunned since Pauline is a rare name.  And Ruby told me that she thinks of me like her own daughter...that melts my heart.  I really don't care whether she knows what she is saying (Alzheimer patients tend to lost themselves in the middle of a conversation), because she already earned a special place in my heart!  I promised her that I will visit her again next week and Evan told me that he wouldn't mind going either -- what a blessing!

Norma... Norma's thought process has declined quite a bit.... she used to be able to hold a thought, but it seemed to be jumping around often lately.  However, she was as sweet as usual and she told me that we should hang out when she is not as busy! :D  She is absolutely adorable!

Something I learn here is that our personality and character won't change much as we grow older or even one day completely lost ourselves. If we be kind, loving and gentle in life, we'll be the same person till we died.

My List

After much contemplation, here is my priority list as to what I want to become.  It's in a form of open questions so any ideas will not be restricted.  I hope I'll follow through.

1.  How can I be more Christ like?

2.  How can I help Jeannie strengthen her testimony in Christ and the importance of temple marriage?

2.   How can I help Jady and Evan enjoy and appreciate music?

3.   How can I financially support my parents?

4.  How can I be a good trader or a knowledgeable loan officer?

Let me put this to work and see how it goes... :)

Checking Into Life

It's uncle 7's birthday today.... I sobbed as I saw his birthday notification.  I can't believe I never realize his thoughtful intention to reconnect with us when he first created the "relative" group on fb.  I have no idea that he's been so weak and sick.  Things would have been different if I know.  But, why?  Why can't I be a little more sensitive, or genuine in the first place? Where have I been in the past few years?  I don't even remember to wish him happy birthday last year, and isn't it too late to say it now?  I really, really, really miss him, and I really, really, really hate myself for being slow to act.     

A couple weeks ago, I found out that dad wasn't feeling well when I thought he was fine all these time.  I hate that when mom didn't tell me when he is  is sick.  I wouldn't find out if I didn't call.  Yesterday, when I called them, dad told me that mom went to the Yan On hospital and got a shot because she's been having a really bad headache.  I talked to her several times on the phone, but I just can't stop worrying about her.  I was really upset last night as I found out that she went to play mahjong with her friends when she is supposed to take some rest.  She is leaving for a tour to China today with dad, and it's not making me worry less! I hope they have a good time and nothing happen.

Yeah, Jeannie was called to serve as a compassionate service leader!  I am so glad that she got to help and be part of others life.  The Bishop must be truly inspired since Jeannie is girl with a good heart.  I need to send her some note cards!  :D

Last weekend was great.  We drove to Christine M's house in VA.  We went to the temple on Sat., and spent another night with them so that I can learn some Chinese, Vietnamese dishes.  The trip to the temple was inspirational -- I was praying for some guidance on Jeannie, mom and myself.... the word "prioritize" keeps echoing in my head.... not once, but many, many, many, many times.  Looks like I need put my list in order before figuring out my next step.

The week before was fun.... Thanks so Sister Wright for asking me to be her accompanist.  It really is quite an experience, and I have the privilege to be asked to join the club - I think the average age of these ladies are 70.  I am not kidding, but I love old people.  Here is my except from fb:  

An old lady approached me after we were done with the performance, and through our conversation I found out that she is in fact 92-year-old. She invited me to join her club, and I thought for a moment because I wondered if I have time to practice. She probably see me puzzled, and made a comment that has been sticking in my mind: "Music is great, isn't it? You just want to play until you can't play

anymore!" Even though she doesn't play anymore, she keeps on coming, participating and supporting her friends every month. I am impressed with her attitude and her love and passion in music. Her remarks was insightful; not only in music, but in every aspects of life - we just have to be the best "player" we can be in everything that we do, and "play" until the day we died.

Live strong, waste not, for each day itself is a blessing.

Pauline

Best Thing In Life

Well, it's been a week since Jeannie was gone.  By the many fb messages and phone calls, I am finally convinced that she is really loving her college life.  She loves her classes and enjoys her time with her roommates.  I might sound like an old lady, but seriously... the best thing in life is to see your child being happy - it really is PRICELESS!!!!  :)

* No blood work for Jeannie until she comes back. Her Dr. said nothing is urgent and she ruled out the few serious diseases that I was worried about!  Yeah!!!! 

* My child also told me that she got a date on the 2nd day of school.... someone took her out to an ice-cream.  That silly girl felt bad about him paying, but Johnny said that she needs to get used to it!  :D I am sooooo happy for her... she is in Heaven!!!!!  Yes, yes, yes to church college.  It's been a wonderful blessing for her and us!!!!