Growing Pain

Jeannie was upset with us grounding her from an ice-cream social with her friends after school last Friday. She came to our room one night and argued with her dad for a whole 10 mins because she thought she has not been treated fairly. It all started with her not cleaning up her room as she promised, and her dad needed her to ride the bus home right after school the next day, which happened to be the day her friends had the ice-cream social.

I was in the room listening to the conversation. Jeannie brought up that we did not do much when she received good grades, but yet she got grounded with a small little mistake like this. She was terribly upset. Johnny has been very patient the whole time in explaining why he grounded her, but firm with the decision. The problem with me was not so much about cleaning, but being obedient and learned to accept the consequence.

It was just a few days ago when I told her the exact same thing before her dad's unexpected inspection. I am always the mediator between Johnny and Jeannie. Honestly, I took side of my daughter most of the time because her dad was too strict. I struggled a little bit as to whether or not I should just let her go. But, if we let her escape from the consequence this time, there will be another time, and the time after next time.

So, I brought up the subject and said, "Jeannie, remember what mommy told you a few days ago to clean up your room, but you ignored me? This arguement could have been avoided if you listened to me!" Her eyes were wild opened, and her look tells me that she could not believe what I said. It was a surprise! ***Sorry, child... In as much as we love you, a consequence is needed so that you remember such a "painful" experience.

I don't think kids understand how tough it is for parents to ground their children. We are not here to make our children miserable, but sadly, a misconcept many teenagers perceived. It is my goal to be the kind of mom being firm, gentle, loving, but with guidance.